Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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