I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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