You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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