one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
