Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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