I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
