Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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