i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
pray to the hookup gods
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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