You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
look no pants
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
