i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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