you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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