I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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