I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
