I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
