SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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