God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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