Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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