It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
