Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
