I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
