We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
