Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
