Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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