what day is it and did you see me today?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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