Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
