how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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