erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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