reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
