So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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