by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
how does that bad decision feel?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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