Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize