Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
