i jhust puked up my retainher.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
