She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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