i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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