i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
