check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
