At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
