I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
