how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
