Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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