sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
