Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Found your dick twin last night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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