why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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