sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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