Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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