I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
