I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im drinking this country out of the recession.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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