Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
