WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
