I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
