Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
