i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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