And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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