you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
