I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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