HIV tests are more positive than that guy
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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