Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
did i just pee glitter
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
