yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize