Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
