You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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