do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
